Posts filed under ‘humor’

good times.

good-times.jpgNot those good times, the good times we are having now that Jen is getting out of the “sick” phase of being pregnant. The 2nd trimester really is a blessing after suffering her way through the first one. She is feeling tons better, and is getting her energy back. But dont be fooled by our good fortune, Jen still says she has no intention of going through this again. And you know what? ive looked into her eyes and i believe she is serious. If i want baby after this one, she tells me ive got two choices: adoption or kidnapping.


December 6, 2007 at 5:13 pm 3 comments

going green = losing green!

i-went-green.pngAs if the stresses of becoming a parent arent enough, weve been reading a lot lately about “going green” in regard to the baby. You start reading about all the things that can harm your baby, and after a while you start wondering if anything is good for your baby. So we looked into some organic cotton clothes for the baby: 1 organic cotton onesie, $24.95. Yeah, thats practical, because we all know how slowly babies grow. 1 pair of organic cotton baby socks? $7.95. THATS FOR ONE PAIR OF INFANT SOCKS. Thats like 4 dollars each. And environmentalists wonder why more people dont go green. I dont mean to go off on a rant here, but I saw Ed Begley Jr. on The Dennis Miller Show about 10 years ago, complaining about how few people drove hybrid vehicles. Dennis told him “want people to buy hybrids? stop making them look like hybrids. Start making them look like Porsches and they will sell like hot cakes.” To me its similar with environmentally friends baby items. Want parents to buy them? Try and price them so that parents can buy them.

December 3, 2007 at 7:59 pm Leave a comment

dance, baby!

its important that i let everyone know right upfront, this isnt jen. I stumbled across (and by “stumbled” i mean i did a search for pregnant dancing on you tube) and found these today. Theyre catchy. i dont know how or why, but they are. As a matter of fact, I almost titled this post “the coolest, creepiest, most bizarre, awesomest, oddly intriguing, i cant believe im watching this, but then i again i cant believe someone filmed these, videos ever.” But i thought “dance, baby!” sounded wittier. This chick does have mad skills, though. holla.

November 26, 2007 at 6:05 pm 1 comment

poor jen…

Heres a transcript of a conversation jen had recently:

random person: “do you have any names in mind yet?”

jen: “we thought about the name Noah, but John thinks it sounds too meek.”

random person: “really? thats my husbands name.”

jen: “oh.”

November 17, 2007 at 1:51 pm Leave a comment

the corner of wall st. and sesame st.

Because its never too early to start thinking of the high cost of college, the folks over at offer real framed stock certificates for babies. couvfortune-thumb.jpg This got me curious, so i did some checking: One share of johnson and johnson,  purchased on my birthday, august of 1974 would have cost $99.12. That 1 share would now be 46 shares due to stock splits and dividends over the years and be worth approx. $3046.47 today. Not too bad. I can just imagine our child playing with its friends at school: “Want to play house?” “Nah, how about we play flip this house instead, and use the profits to buy other undervalued imaginary houses in this area?”

November 15, 2007 at 5:22 pm Leave a comment

DNA evidence exonerates video, mp3 taken into custody

375007704_52bf967450-small.jpgSo i was thinking today of random things that our baby will never know, things like:

MTV used to play nothing but music videos.

BetaMax was better than VHS, even though VHS won the format war.

Cassette tapes were good only if you were old enough to compare them to 8 tracks.

Dial up internet.

Pac Man fever.

That after spending 20 years in prison for killing the radio star, new DNA evidence shows  that Video was innocent. it was its cousin, Mp3.

November 14, 2007 at 6:40 pm 1 comment

parenting: the 2nd oldest pyramid scheme

amway-logo-4c.jpg When we were trying to have kids, our friends who already had them were elated, telling us what great parents we would be, how much we would enjoy it, how our children would play together, how much having a baby enriched their lives and brought them closer together, etc, etc. Now that we are expecting, when we talk to those same friends and we hear their children screaming in the background, all they can say is “This is what you have to look forward to. Good luck.” I cant help but feel that someone got one over on us. I imagine we feel the same way people did when they got their first Amway sales kit in the mail. And just like our friends with kids, the Amway people probably went on and on, telling them what great sales people they would be, how much they would enjoy it, and how selling Amway enriched their lives and brought them closer together. But instead of 4 cases of shampoo sitting our closet, we will soon have a baby. We cant wait to be parents,  but im still savvy enough to know that the sales pitch has changed.

November 12, 2007 at 6:51 pm 2 comments

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